


Vote Jameson for Parker Dad

by AMonsterCalls (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, J. Jonah Jameson is a Father, J. Jonah Jameson is a Softy, Jameson for Parker Dad, Peter Parker Has a Family, Precious Peter Parker, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark is not Pete's Dad, Voting in Progress...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 18:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18371996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AMonsterCalls
Summary: J. Jonah Jameson is the head of J3 Communications, as well as the editor for the infamous, Spider-hating Bugle. He is renowned for his lung capacity, and his tendency to use it. This is my verdict: Jameson for Parker dad. I’m yeeting Tony out a window. You’re welcome.





	Vote Jameson for Parker Dad

**Author's Note:**

> There’s a trend going around about Tony Stark being Spider-Man’s fatherly figure. You know what I say? Forget the drunk. He is a terrible choice. Tony doesn’t have a good reference to be a father because his own father wasn’t very fatherly. Besides that, Tony’s a jerk, he makes bad decisions, is too much of a partier, etc, etc. I could go on. Sure, Stark is funny and he’s got a good personality, but he is not fit for Peter’s dad role. 
> 
> Instead, I give you Jameson. Who already proved to be a good father figure. Oh? Don’t believe me? Read the comics or watch a show or two. Jameson has a son named John Jonah Jameson, after himself and his father. John grew to be an astronaut, and he has a good, well-meaning nature, and lasting relationship with Jameson. So, I’d assume that Jameson is a good father if his son a) still loves him and b) is a well-to-do human being.
> 
> Therefore, I nominate him as Tony’s replacement.
> 
> (Also, since in the current MCU Peter doesn’t work at the Bugle, I’m not using Spider-Man from the movies. This is my own adaptation of a Tom Holland Spider-Man, but without the whole ‘Peter gets a suit from Tony Stark’ thing)
> 
> Sorry for the long notes. Hope you enjoy

When Peter started taking pictures of his alternate persona and selling them to the Bugle, he’d thought that he’d simply stay under the radar, do freelance work. That was not the case. J. Jonah Jameson kept roping him into taking pictures for events, giving him no opportunity to say no. As if you could say no to anything Jameson ever tells you to do.

“Parker! Get over here!” Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. “Where are those pictures I wanted? I asked for them an hour ago!”

Peter held up a folder. “They’re here, sir.”

Jameson snatched them from his hand. “What took you so long?” He barked, though his tone had softened somewhat.

“Uh, sir,” Peter mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was halfway across the city.”

The editor paused, opening and closing his mouth for a few times before saying, “Right.” Wow, Jonah. Clever as ever. He looked through a couple of the pictures, grunting, “Good job, Parker.”

Pete ducked his head shyly. He’d never been good with compliments, especially from Jameson. “Thanks sir.” He muttered quietly. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the door. “I, um, gotta go… do homework…” Without waiting for a response, he dashed out of the Bugle’s office.

Jonah watched Parker go, grudgingly acknowledging his liking for the kid. Not many squirmed their way into Jameson’s heart, but he’d always had a soft spot for that Peter. It might’ve been the way the kid smiled like there wasn’t a care in the world, or the way he humbly presented his pictures as if they _weren’t_ completely incredible, taken at just the right angle, or the way he rambled about everything and anything.

 _Great_ , Jameson thought, _now I’m thinking of all the reasons I like the kid_. He internally brushed off all introspections about Peter, focusing on the job at hand.

He flipped through the pictures again. 

They really _were_ good.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Days later, Peter was walking home from school. 

And it was raining.

He tugged his hood further past his face, willing the rain to fall anywhere but on him. His sweater was already soaked. What he was really worried about was the homework in his backpack. _Please don’t get wet please don’t get wet pleasedon’tgetwet._

A black Rolls Royce slowed on the street next to him, the back window lowering to reveal the bushy brows and hard scowl of a very familiar man.

“Hey, Parker!” Jameson snapped. “What are you doing out in this weather? You know what, on second thoughts, I don’t want to know. Get in the car. I will _not_ have my best photographer sitting on his heels at home because he caught a _cold_ , of all things!”

Peter stood dumbly for a moment.

“What are you waiting for? A building to fall on you?!”

He got in the car. “Did you… did you say your _best_ photographer?”

Jameson acted like he hadn’t said anything, just tapping the seat in front of him to indicate to the chauffeur that they could keep driving. “So,” JJ said gruffly, turning back to Peter, “Where were you off to in the pouring rain?”

“Uh.” Peter fiddled with his sleeve. “My house.”

“At least bring an umbrella next time.” Strangely, Jonah almost looked _concerned_. 

Peter smiled a small smile. “Okay JJ.”

<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When he first got his Spider powers, Peter had promised himself that he wouldn’t let anyone find out he had them. This was mostly because he wanted to remain Spider-Man anonymously, but it was also because he still wanted to live a normal life, have normal friends, be a normal kid.

So, when Eugene "Flash" Thompson bullied him, he restrained himself from fighting back. Peter Parker from before the Spider bite couldn’t fight back, so Peter Parker from after the Spider bite couldn’t either.

One particular time, Flash was riled from a recent football game that his team had lost, and he decided to take his anger out on ‘that freaking nerd’. He cornered Peter next to the school building, grabbing his shirt and slamming him against the bricks mercilessly, putting his face so close to the smaller boy’s that he could see the individual flecks of the brunet’s eyes. 

“I’m not letting you off so easy this time, Parker,” He snarled, spittle flying from his mouth. “I’m in a foul mood, and you just happen to be the sorry sucker who rubbed me the wrong way.”

Flash saw Peter’s eyes widen, and he allowed himself a smirk. This was going to be fun.

Suddenly, a hand clenched on the collar of his shirt and tossed him away from Parker. He hit the ground hard, slamming his elbow on a rock, sending a flash of pain to his unsuspecting brain. Looming above him, there was a man with a grimace so fierce that Flash instantly bolted to his feet, taking several steps backwards.

The man pursued him, and Flash coulda sworn those beading eyes turned crimson. “Don’t go anywhere near Parker again, you hear me?” The man growled, “I can make your life a living hell. You’ll never be able to sleep without mobs at your doorstep, never be able to walk without someone cursing your name, never be able to run where I can’t find you and _take you down_.”

“N-no need f-for that.” Thompson stuttered. “I’ll leave Parker alone. I promise! Just get-- get away from me!” And then he dashed away, running as fast as his legs would go.

Jameson glared at the bully with dagger eyes until he was out of sight, then he turned to Parker. “You okay, kid?”

“Y-yeah.” Peter looked at JJ in awe. “Thanks, sir.”

“No skin off my nose, kid. Gotta look after my investments, don't I?”

He smiled. That was such a Jameson thing to say. “I guess.” A thought occurred to him. “What are you doing here, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Not at all, not at all.” Jonah gave Peter a hard look. “I heard a rumour. Decided to check it out myself.” He twisted around, stalking away briskly. He waved a hand over his shoulder as he went. “See you tomorrow, kid! And don’t forget to bring those wedding pictures! Harry Osborn and Felisha Hardy, who’da thought?”

The boy who was Spider-Man and Peter Parker both watched the man who had sworn himself his enemy, as well as his friend. He grinned.

J. Jonah was a good man after all.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Yay or nay? You still think of Tony as a dad candidate, or do you prefer Jameson? Comment below; fear not, I don’t bite. Much.


End file.
